I like this comment! Yes, that IS a good question....how does his alcoholism affect you????? Have you been to al anon??? U can't change HIM. But u can change how you think about HIM and his disease. Ive been in recovery for 30 yrs and worked in the field for decades. Start going 2 meetings. Get yourself a same sex sponsor just as an alcoholic would do if he wanted to stop drinking. Get a home group to help you feel at ease and comfortable. Good luck, sobriety or this path for u as his wife will incredible!! U will learn soooo much about yourself and grow. Journal, then occas read it to compare your growth. You'll be amazed!!!