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Son estranged due to controlling spouse

Just Want to Talk | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (62)

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@faithfillex

My daughter was diagnosed with cancer and she completely shut me and her father out. It Felt like a double gut punch. No medical info updates for weeks. However, we did receive several communications telling us and her siblings that her husband would take care of “his” family and stay away and don’t contact her. No acknowledgment that she’s our family too. I felt that fighting about this would just increase her stress so I shut up and locked up my heart for a couple months. After completely backing off and praying intensely, some communication has now begun. I was blindsided by all this because before the cancer we had what I perceived as a neutral uncontentious relationship. No arguments or fights. Has she hated me all along and hidden it? Has her husband hated her family all along and hidden it? We’re swallowing our anger (and pride) accepting this treatment because there are grandchildren involved whom we love and want to see again. Does cancer stress take the veil off relationships? Does it create new relationship problems?

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Replies to "My daughter was diagnosed with cancer and she completely shut me and her father out. It..."

OMG, I am so sorry for your multidimensional alienation! To not be able to be there for her health is a HUGE LOSS!
My son, right after his wedding a year and a half ago, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and did not want be to get involved. I texted his wife on surgery day and asked her to please keep me posted on everything because that was my child going into surgery, and her response was “Well that’s my husband going into surgery!” She was right and I was embarrassed, but now I don’t give one damn about her. She is very disrespectful to me.
I really hope things turn around for you and your daughter ❤️

Also, you hit the nail on the head when you said ‘has she hated or been angry w/me all along?!?’
That is exactly how I felt! I thought we were always good but now I feel like that was a myth on my part, and that hurts the most.
Thank you for saying that!
That’s where my emotional pain lives with this whole situation. It’s traumatic as hell!!