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@sandij

Well I also know that I will never escape myself and my emotions. I've gotten into studying Human Design and it completely makes sense for me, I will always experience life as waves...and have to wait through emotional waves before clarity comes. It was actually a relief to see that I'm not the only one who is made this way, although it would have saved me much grief if I'd been introduced to HDS years ago. No matter, the knowledge I have now is proving beneficial.
After I had a good cry today I'm feeling better.

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@sandij
Good for you for allowing yourself to cry.
Oh, how I hated it at first, but it really does help. I used to be happy or sad, I had no feeling in between. That was the only way I could survive my horrible childhood. Only, being sad was also dangerous, not exaggerating here...so I was only happy.
All that pain sadness, horror and wishing to die as a kid broke down my body cuz I stored every bit of any feeling that wasn't happy in my body.
No wonder I took Effexor for 33 years...
But look at me now, I say with a triumphant crow!

I would not let them win and in being so stubborn, I had to feel all those feelings I stuffed.
I feel like I have cried a galaxy of tears...why would I do that?
Cuz I am worth it.
Bright Wings

I don't know what Human Design is -- never heard of it -- but will definitely check it out. Thanks!