@brightwings I had been on 75 mg for about 6 weeks before I attempted to wean down at all from there. But I started weaning from 225 mg in the beginning. I know that the weaning has to be extremely slow from here on out. I take out 6 beads from my 75 capsule which contains about 84 beads, So each bead is roughly .89 mg. So my calculation is that I am at 69 mg, not 66 yet. I guess that was like a 7% reduction? It just kills me that a few tiny beads can have SO much control over me. From reading information on a FB group I was astounded that people were having extreme reactions at the very end and jumping off of a single bead. Well, never say never, because it looks like that is what is in the future for me too! This whole experience has given me a great deal of compassion for drug addicts.
I did get my test results back from the CT scan. Apparently lesions on the liver are quite common, and their recommendation is to have an MRI in 3 months just to make sure nothing has changed. In the past I may have taken the news of the initial discovery in stride, but one of the effects of WD, for me, I think, is to catastrophize more than is normal.
I am 56 years old and had a total hysterectomy when I was 46, I stopped taking estrogen patches about 2 years ago. I realize now that the effexor was certainly helping stave off hot flashes since I am experiencing them a bit now, but nothing like the night sweats I had when I was going through neurontin withdrawal. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I got through that hell and I can get through this one. But the difference is, I went cold turkey with that. Even though my protracted WD lasted two years of windows and waves, I wasn't taking it anymore! With this, I'm still taking it and going through hell. SO the realization that I will have to go THIS slow and STILL experience years of hell is just discouraging.
I have my good days but right now I feel like I am in a dark hole and am losing patience the longer it goes on. Then I feel guilty that other people go through far worse than stupid effexor withdrawal...relative to many others out there, I should have gratitude, especially in light of this recent test, but I can't seem to snap out of it.
Ugh. Thanks for listening. I know it will get better but right now I am all kinds of crazy and full of self hate. And guilt. And self pity. Waiting for the tide to turn.
Hope everyone is having a good day!
Sandi

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