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Approach to bringing in a caregiver for wife

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 4 6:42am | Replies (32)

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@pamela78

I could have written your post myself. Our situations have much in common. Deaf husband who wants to help but gets in the way. Old Chihuahua that doesn't like husband, who can't remember to Just Leave Him Alone. It's getting harder to be away from home for more than an hour or so, though he still drives to his favorite places. I read, read, read. Lots of mysteries and novels, some biography and history. I'd be lost without books, email, and this site. Upcoming first appointment with neurologist that husband doesn't understand the reason for. Steady decline in cognitive function. What does the future hold? I was recently diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm and should avoid stress, which means I shouldn't blow up at my husband. You know how hard that is, especially when he can't hear so I have to shout. I'm right there with you.

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Replies to "I could have written your post myself. Our situations have much in common. Deaf husband who..."

Talk about similarities! Wow! About the only differences I could see was that your husband still drives some and your dog is tiny and ours was big. I say "was" because he died early this morning. My husband has been much worse today, and it might be because of that. We'll miss our boy terribly, but I'm glad he's not suffering any more. One other difference—as far as I know I don't have an aortic aneurysm, but I do have chronic A-fib. So far, though, I don't have much problem with that.

I'm like you in that I'd be lost without fiction and the internet. I swear I don't know how people who don't like to read manage all the things life throws at us.

I'm in the same boat as you and @bclane. Hubby seems to remember everything about his childhood, which he talks about incessantly, but can't remember whether he just ate. He has trouble implementing anything involving planning, so appointments, bookkeeping, etc are all left up to me. I am 'directionally impaired' (get lost easily - thank goodness for Google Maps), and he used to have an uncanny sense of direction, but that is gone and he would get lost a mile from here. He used to be very handy, but now simple 'Honey-do' jobs go undone. I think his hearing is normal, but he 'misunderstands' what I've said, so sometimes he gets mad at me thinking I said something different. I too find myself raising my voice impatiently when he asks me to repeat what I just said. He wants to use his smart phone but it is frustrating trying to show him over and over how to operate it. I too read constantly - only using audiobooks, so I can 'read' even when walking or doing chores. They truly do take one's mind off the tedium of daily life.
We're not planning very well for the future - I guess we'll just have to handle what comes when it comes. Fortunately I have a wonderful son who will help us, even though he lives far away.