😂😂 I’m tired! Honestly that would be my chief complaint. That and all the pain i have 24/7. It’s in my joints, my spine, neck, back, knees, it’s literally head to toe. And it can be inside out depending if any of my autoimmunes go out of remission. All the medication (23 prescriptions taken several times a day including chemo) make me even more tired. That’s just the physical part of it.

Mentally it’s depressing because I’m only 51 years old and I’ve been living on SSI for 10 years now because for some freak of nature my body decided to come up with these autoimmunes ..8 & counting and I say that because I was just told yesterday about the 8th one and it seems every time I turn around there’s another one. No one in my family has them yet they’re hereditary…🤷🏻‍♀️ I missed out on a lot of my kids fun part of their teen years because i couldn’t take them to the places or do things with them like regular parents do. I spend most of my day confined to a recliner. Because im in pain. I watch as life goes on around me….friends…family….ppls whose dreams came true…or had half a chance at making them. I’m angry at my body for doing this. Angry at myself for feeling this way. And the saddest part is I’ve already accepted that my lifespan was told once to me by a Dr to be mid 60’s. IF…IF I make it there. I’ve literally almost died 4 times between 2019-2023. It was crazy. And they told me if i ever got covid good chance i might not survive..I’ve had it 3x…I’m a fighter. I’m just depressed and angry.

But I wake up everyday and I try to look at the lil things in life I am grateful for …. Because that’s how I live a happy healthy life. Instead of curling up and dying. I have 2 beautiful daughters that are now 22 & 21. I taught myself to crochet last summer and now I have my own lil business Kozy Kidz Kaps of making children’s character crocheted hats. And I love it! I make sure I go out with friends atleast once a month. My sister once a month. So there’s a couple times out. Plus I go out with my kids. I am planning a cruise this summer. Granted I can’t do all the activities I might want. But i can go to the indoor pool because it has the staircase and not the ladder, I sit by the ocean in the afternoon and I’m allowed 1 frozen mudslide 😂 (I normally can’t and don’t drink due to autoimmune hepatitis but on vacation my dr lets me have 1 a day…since I might vacation every 1-2 years. Although I haven’t been in 3!) I love playing bingo. Sitting on the deck having a puff, listening to the music while watching the ocean and looking over the ppl either facing or sometimes they’re playing a game with the ppl. Watch karaoke. Go on shore. I have a scooter so i just zip around the boat n shore 😂. I take my joy where i can!