@farmboy
My gosh you have been going thru it, haven't you. You probably feel like you fell over a waterfall and are still falling.
I kind of read little parts of so many of your posts. I got the gist of what is happening.
1. You went too fast in your withdrawing from the effexor on your first go around. Way, way too fast.
Please share again, when you started weaning and when you got back on the meds. My brain did not retain it all.
One thing that is happening right now is you don't have enough Effexor in your blood to be helping because you just restarted the Effexor. . If my memory is correct, ha, it takes Effexor 6 weeks to get a good blood level going. You are only on it again for 2 weeks, so your levels are not what you need at present.
My gosh guy, I feel for you with all the things you are sharing with us.
Can you do this???? ABSOLUTELY...AND it is going to take you longer than others...fact, Jack...
It took me so much longer to heal my stuff than others and do you know what, I still made it.
So first thing I want you to do is go get some CBD. Instant calming...like less that 20 minutes. You can not over dose on it. It helps me ground myself and stay in the moment. You need that ability right now...to stay in the moment...not where your mood or thoughts are taking you.
I have 50 years of mental health under my belt, both working in hospitals and getting the care I needed. However, today I am not writing as a professional, but as someone who has accomplished what you are trying to do.
1. When you get upset, I want you to breathe. That's all...breathe in and out. Long slow breathes.
2. Say out loud, I see the tv, I see the couch, I see the..., I see the... What ever you see, say it out loud.
It keeps you in the here and now. I can remember saying these things I could see for about 20 minutes, no lie...I was still upset...
3. Then say everything you can hear...I hear the diffuser, I hear the dog fart, I hear the car, again and again, say what you hear.
These 3 tips keep you in the here and now. Being so focused keeps all those feelings and thoughts at bay which is what you need right now and probably in the future too.
You are worth what ever it takes to get thru this...keep going, keep going, one foot in front of the other, keep going...you are worth it...
Ok I am going to post this so you can reply to my questions.
Tomorrow, I will focus on other tips that can help..
I hear your desperation...now point blank, are you suicidal, no shame in saying yes, I was suicidal thousands of times...I am still here. Why, because I was worth what ever it took AND if I killed myself, all my abusers would have won...there was no way I was allowing that!!!!!!