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Probably not ever going to be officially diagnosed
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 18 9:21am | Replies (30)Comment receiving replies
I relate to what you say about your mother. My husband has been declining for at least four years but doesn't seem to realize the changes he's experiencing. We don't talk about it, but I'm quietly and gradually taking on more of the things he used to do. The things he still can do--drive to familiar places, unload the dishwasher, make the bed, do the laundry--he takes great pride in doing. Looking at that list, I can see that he still does quite a lot. It's the endless repetition and the loss of words that drive me around the bend. Whenever I leave the house, I come home to find him waiting for me on the porch. Yesterday I walked up to a nearby restaurant to spend an hour with a friend. I was gone for an hour and a half, and when I got home my husband said he was about to get in his car and go looking for me. He'd forgotten where I was going and the direction I'd be coming from. We coasted along for a long time but things seem to be slipping faster these days. What is it they say? When the going gets tough, the tough get doing. We could all do with a little of Henry V's spirited rhetoric, I guess.
Replies to "I relate to what you say about your mother. My husband has been declining for at..."
This is ME. I could have written this. I need some “me time” but he worries. Looks for me in the house if I’m in another room for 20 minutes…He still does all the things you mention to help around house, still drives to familiar places, and drives well…but has had trouble navigating to places that are not so familiar, even though his car has GPS and all he has to do is talk to it for directions. The advice I am given includes “continue to do things for yourself”, but that is looking less and less possible, going forward. Take care of yourself.
@pamela78 My father’s endless repetitions and loss of words also drives my brother around the bend when he flies in occasionally to see Dad on his way overseas. Despite it being several years now. When it first started happening I felt anger - and realised it came from fear. Fear of what it meant. Fear of the future. Now I know it’s Dad’s new normal and I accept that. It’s not helpful to remind him he has already told us that story or that he asked the same question a few minutes ago. I now always respond as if it was the 1st time he’d said it. He’ll say the same thing numerous times when we’re together. That’s ok. Dad takes comfort from speaking what he’s thinking. He can’t help it and it’s now a normal part of our communication ❤️🩹
Sounds like our husbands are on the same path at this time. The thing I miss the most is meaningful conversation; sharing our day, the needs to be done around the house, planning trips, our discussions never include any future planning. His mind just doesn’t move forward with planning and I so miss that with him. We have been married 44 years and talking and sharing has always been an important part of our relationship.
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If I didn’t know I would think I wrote what you said.
Same here changes but he still does all his chores so as to speak and like your husband is proud to be doing them. We keep him on the same routine but he says occasionally I am getting so stupid but I tell him everyone forgets sometimes. I notice he puts things in the wrong places which is irritating but not life threatening. It just takes a while for me to locate them. I find I never leave anything out because he will take my pants thinking they are his, again not major but it tends to drive me crazy when I can’t find things. He has never been diagnosed and we have no other family so it is just me. I’m just happy that in-between he is basically the man I married although like you i seem to take on more things.