I had over time kept asking my husband if he would let a nurse do some of things I was doing for and to him...like when giving him a shower or helping him get dressed and he always said "yes". I'm not really sure if he meant it or not, cuz at one point during his decline he was usually agreeing or saying yes to alot of things, so i would just pray and cross my fingers that he WOULD let a caregiver take care of him. So after interviewing her, I introduced them, I just said " Tom. this is my friend Sue. Would you be ok if she were to come in and help take care of you like I do?" And he said 'sure". It was such a relief that he wasn't showing resistance. She was mainly here to give me some respite and I would stop pulling my hair out and losing patience and it worked out great. I felt it very important to both me and my hubby that i ASKED him if was ok, not just a this-is-what-is-going-to-happen thing. His dementia has progressed faster than I thought it would, but he still does have some lucid days left in him from time to time and I want him to be a part of this process and decisions the best way he knows how. I started out slow by her coming by 2 days a week for about 4 hours each time. It gave me the much needed break I needed and I didn't want to overwhelm him with a stranger. After a few weeks, she would come sit with him a little longer and it worked out really well.
I wish you the best in making your decision with a caregiver and how he'll react when you introduce them to each other. I would love to hear how it goes.
Peace, Strength and Hugs to you