I am so sorry you feel so bad. Here’s a ridiculous suggestion (or so I thought at the time) but are you in a situation where you could enroll in a class at the local community college? It sort of gets you out of your head... my psychiatrist suggested that for me and at the end of my first course, I actually told the instructor that he changed my life. And it was true. Again, I’m so sorry about your anxiety. Sublingual vitamin B complex helps and you can grab that at Walmart... and maybe some CBD if you can get it, but it’s expensive. Hang in there.