I know exactly how it is to suffer terribly each day with the condition of depression/anxiety and all the other adverse effects that go with it like inability to want to eat and serious digestive disregulation and such. Just letting you know there are many of us in a condition like what you describe somewhat desperate for solutions. I know I am desperately seeking any small aid or help I can get.
Today I walked over to a gym and signed up. It was very difficult for me. It is a completely different world as my senses are so distorted from my disregulated nervous system. The only place I seem to find any comfort is in my bed. I have to force myself each day to do something like bathe, brush my teeth, try to get some nutritious food into my system and stay hydrated. It's very difficult and I feel trapped inside my body and mind which are very sick and disregulated. When I got home I was relieved to be in my safe zone. Had lots of anxiety the entire time I went outside. I'm stuck in an awful state of mind which I feel is chemical. I think my brain is damaged from medications over my lifetime, my own indulgence in alcoholism when I was an adolescent until 26 years old when I stopped and other family abuses and traumas. I feel ruined and incapacitated because of the condition I am experiencing. I'm not happy. I'm living one minute at a time often . Apologies for expressing how bad I feel but getting it down truthfully with another sufferer is a consoling act for me. You are not alone please hang in there.🙏