I have to admit that my life hasn't been very demanding during the last ~14 months since I found out that my cancer recurred. So I don't have many useful suggestions. If I needed to work full-time or take care of other people, that would have been a big problem.

I wouldn't call it courage. It's acceptance. I've accepted that my life is unlikely to get any better in the future, so I should try to get whatever enjoyment I can out of it now, and spend time with the people I care about during those times when I feel OK. (I plan to keep trying different treatments and am still hoping to hit NED, but realistically, I don't think that's very likely.)

My side effects on carbo/taxol weren't as bad as yours seem to be. I was fairly non-functional for the first week of each cycle, but the next two weeks I felt OK. I refused the Keytruda maintenance because I didn't think it was doing anything. I've been on clinical trials since then. That has been a very mixed experience. Just started the second one a month ago.

If I thought I was going to live to be 90, I would think my retirement savings were inadequate, but I'm not, so I'm not worrying about money. I have a very flexible, non-demanding, low-paying part-time job. The insurance I've gotten off the Obamacare exchange has been OK, and if your income is below ~40K, you can get a plan where the premium is mostly covered by the subsidy. (You're still going to get stuck with a ~$9000 out of pocket maximum if you have expensive medical care.)

I'm hoping you find the strength, and the peace, to manage these struggles.