Hello @jsbsmith. You certainly have started this battle well for your mom with specialists and great home care with you. I was primary caregiver for my husband's multiple surgeries starting with partial cystectomy, then radical cystectomy with neobladder, ureteral repairs, nephrostomy tubes, incisional hernia repairs.......it has been a journey. All surgeries at Mayo MN and Pembro and chemo infusions at home in Ohio. He is not on Connect, but I have tried to share our experiences and helpful suggestions along the way since we have been going to Mayo for 13 years for my cancer.
The best thing we did, but did not prepare in advance, was purchase a lift chair recliner. He lived in it and continues to use it daily. Not all surgeries were minimally invasive and getting up from low furniture is tough. A firm side rail on the bed is also very helpful for turning over at night and getting up. He also lost food tastes so every day it was a discussion about what sounds good to fix or pick up. This was all during Covid so lots of takeout available. Fixing the same old foods that still tasted good kept him eating. Roasted stuffed chicken with gravy and mashed potatoes was a regular! I had to do a lot of bandage changes and taking care of skin health is very important. Be slow and patient as old skin is so fragile. Adhesive removers are so helpful. I tend to take charge too much, but for some decisions you just have to. Try for more suggestions and hints, rather than telling her what to do. Reminders of what the doctor's instructions say because they don't remember much about discharge if on pain medication. And maybe most important for us was to not hover constantly. Some alone time is healthy for both of you. You must make time for the caregiver's health mentally and physically to do your best job.