Hi Stefan. It really is amazing how much trauma we can experience in a lifetime, and I see that you have survived a lot of trauma. I am so sorry. I am also a PTSD survivor and what I learned is that I had to value myself. Period. That was it. I kept waiting for my past to value me and for my parents to value me and that wasn't going to happen. When I started believing that I was valuable and did not need anyone else to agree or affirm it. That's all. You are here and you are worthy. You are enough. And you deserve to be heard and to ask for help. Great job reaching out!! Look at how many "strangers" replied to you. 🙂