Breast cancer fear

@amberpep Fear and sadness are natural emotions, and it's important to allow ourselves to experience them consciously. For me, meditation has been essential in this process, as it helps me stay present. I don’t let my mind wander to worst-case scenarios; instead, I focus on my next follow-up appointment, my next lab test—one step at a time.

I was diagnosed last year at 43. The risk of recurrence is higher when you're younger because there’s more time for cancer to return, but I choose not to focus on that. Instead, I concentrate on strengthening my immune system so that if any cancer cells survived treatment, they won’t find a fertile environment to grow. That’s the one thing within my control. Recurrence or metastasis isn’t—but how I care for my body and mind is.

My journey led me to a profound realization: if cancer had never appeared in my life, I might have continued living on autopilot. But this experience has taken me on an inner journey—one of healing old wounds, appreciating what I have, traveling through life with less baggage, and embracing each moment with greater intensity.

I believe it’s important to ask, What is this trying to teach me? Every day, I ask God for the wisdom to understand and learn the lesson this experience is offering me.

September 2023 I got a call back from my doctor stating she needed me to go back to do an ultrasound because my mammogram showed something that they were concerned about. I went in and did the ultrasound which confirmed there was a mass. The next appointment in October 2023 was a biopsy. I got the results on Nov 1, 2023, it was positive for cancer. I was scheduled for my surgery on Nov 17, 2023 to remove the lump and 3 nodes, through all of this I was still working as a Correctional Officer I was 50. My schedule was week on week off 7 days at 12 hours. It worked out great because I did all of my appointments on my weeks off. It was very emotional for me and my family. I did so much overtime on the week I had off this made me slow down and rest. I started radiation on Dec 7 till Jan 14. It was a total 23 sessions and when I was completed I went right back to doing overtime again. I didn't miss much work because I scheduled my appointments towards then end of my shift the weeks I was on dayshift. When I was on nightshift I would go to my appointments first thing in the morning after getting off from work. My family had to step up with house chores because after my treatments I was really tired especially after working 12 hours. I just kept doing most of what I would normally do daily and stayed positive. That was not easy but I had to do it.I did not have to take any medication when I was done with my radiation treatments. During all of this I was packing up our house getting ready to move from Alaska back to Hawaii. My clean bill of health in Jan 2024 we relocated back to Hawaii in May 2024. I resigned from working May 1st and still not presently working. It's been really hard for me because I've never stayed out of work this long but I believe that the man upstairs wants me to take a break. I am waiting on my background checks to be completed so I can start working again. It's been very frustrating not working and I've been trying to stay busy taking care of our home, and my family. I am very thankful things fell in place through my medical journey. Now it's time to get back to work.

I'm 76,obese,I have a stent and HBP. I'm ER positive and my onco is 19. I read alot and did not feel it upped my odds of not having a reoccurrence. There can be side affects that I did'nt want to risk. I am taking Anastozole,which I,m content to be my only intervention for now.Will post if anything changes.

I froze when I read your comment. I was numb after my diagnosis in June 2021. I live in a large metro with many cancer treatment facilities and lucky to have a teaching hospital to get my treatment. everything moved fast; diagnosis, testing for type, size, treatment plan. Since my cancer was aggressive, treatment started 2 weeks later. Not all cancers are that aggresive so many people have time to think and weigh options. I'm glad I didn't have time to think!

Cry when you need to, sleep when you're tired, get emotioal help from family, friends, professionals You don't need to do this alone. Come back here, we all have similar experiences.

Iwish you good help

I think dealing with fear is such a huge part of having cancer. I was diagnosed 5 years ago, had a lumpectomy and radiation, and am still on a hormone suppressant.

I still have periods of fear. About 2 years ago they flagged my mammo, went thru 2nd mammo, ultrasound and then biopsy. It took weeks for the biopsy results to come in and I was a mess. IT WAS NEGATIVE.

Living with a constant high level of anxiety is horrible. A therapist might be able to help you with finding ways to cope. At my worst, I couldn't meditate because I could not turn off my brain, at all. I got a Tibetan singing bowl which is calming. I've changed my diet, quit alcohol and am trying (mostly failing) to exercise more, to lower the chances it could come back. Everyone has to find a way to deal with it. I'm so sorry you are going through this!

i want to stop worrying, but don’t know how. i tell myself not to think about it but it dosent work. i woke up at 4. then lie in bed deep breathing. for 2 hours but it doesn’t seem to help. i was on luvox for about 1.5 years with bad stomach pain. now off luvox put me on zoloft, no big stomach ache but worries. i don’t like it but dont know what more i can do. i try that exposure thing where you are supposed to experience the feelings and gradually it wont bother you and you will feel better, but it does not work for me. i tried many things to calm down. in the morning i eat bkfst, then exercise and today prayer group. by 10 i will be finished. then clean up the house, i need to add some activities into my life but i dont know what or how. i was always busy but now with so many friends gone im sort of lost.

The only way you can make it through is to constantly remind your self, that now at this moment you are alive healthy with no cancer. Write down your worries to God or on who you believe and have God take care of them you can threw that away or keep it. It's up to you. You have to kind of brain wash yourself, but very important wake up and thank God for everything, live with gratitude and live this moment the present, because all of us that's what we have is no past is no future is only right now and we must be grateful for it. See if you can join a community that practice meditation and mind and body. Connect with nature and use your hand to create anything that you like, join a community of so.e sort, but remember you it should help. Take over your thoughts dont let your thoughts take over you. You have the power not your mind. You control your mind and body. I pray God will take that fear away and help you see the reality and the reality is that you are here in this earth alive. You have two hands, two feets, you can see and hear etc. Alot people don't have that. Always remember that 🙏

Thank You
i am working on that.

I talked to another friend and said are you in remission. She replied “ No, i don’t have cancer i’m cured”
i said oh. and think she is great that she was able to accept that.