I have my bad days also....take heart! PN is to my knowledge a condition that you have to live with. Live with are the operative words here.....it isn't the end. Yes, I took time to feel sorry for myself and even my siblings don't fully get it. A sister suggested recently that we go to Brimfield in the spring. Are you kidding me? Walking untold distances on uneven ground. Well "no" that won't be happening but there are still plenty of things i cqn do. I love to craft. Florals and one of a kind Father Christmas figures. I love the planning the materials and actually sitting down to do one. I blast my playlist on spotify and me and our dog are happy as clams. Listen, I don't know your exact diagnosis but I also have IBS D which means that i have to be careful what I eat...I haven't had an apple in 8 yrs. because it is too high on FODMAPS (don't ask...you don't want to know) but surround yourself with everything that you love, music, scents, pets, people, hobbies, etc. and know that unfortunately there are people out there who are not as lucky as us. We will get through this. And most importantly cut yourself some slack. Okay, you are having a bad day. Can you light a fragrant candle, gather some flowers and tuck yourself into bed for the day. Tomorrow will be better and if it isn't then you need to see whatever doctor deals with the problems at hand. I know that you can do this. You have already done so much in life!!!! I am thinking of you and knowing that you will be alright.