To @rick98
I, unfortunately, put myself into this horror show. All I wanted was to be nearer to one of my sisters who has stage 4 cancer. I haven’t seen her in more than 12 years. We have no idea how much longer she’ll be on this earth as she has already exceeded the life expectancy the oncologists gave her. I should have left well enough alone. My husband is 8 years older than I and in poor health. I wonder how or if I will manage if he predeceases me. I have no one else. I saw my therapist today and told him about this morning’s total meltdown. My husband tried valiantly to control my outburst and console me. My heart palpitations are frightening.