We solved the waitlist problem this way: we have a first, second, and third choice type of unit at the community we are interested in. Each has its own waitlist, with the unit we most prefer having the longest waitlist. We're now on all three. They have a two-strikes rule, meaning that they will let us say "no" twice, and then remove us from that particular list. This means, essentially, that we are most likely to be offered our third, second, and first choice in that order, so in each case, we can decide how much longer we want to wait when offered a unit. If our health declines faster, or we just want to get on with it, we can move earlier by being less fussy.

Not every facility works like that, but if you can find a way to get on a mix of shorter and longer lists, then you have an on-ramp if and when you need one.