It's about my husband

I don't go with him to his appointments his niece does this is the stuff he tells me but lately he has been lying so I don't know for sure if he is telling me the truth. Like I said I really don't care what happens to him after my son graduates the reason I want to see that is because he calls him a bugger eating moron and a retarded but my son is very smart kid.

He says he only has nausea from it
He can't have surgery

Certainly depends on one's health. I was out of work 2 months, really bad leg pain. Started chemo the 2nd month, went back to work following month. All depends on how you feel and is not easy, I don't think there is a set time we are suppose to go back, our health is the most important thing, the rest will have to wait.

I had radiation and hormone therapy, but no chemo. I took six weeks off work because I had hundreds of hours of accrued sick leave and wanted to use it, but could easily have worked the entire time except for the three hours a day of radiation treatment (driving to the center, getting the treatment, driving home--the actual treatment itself once on the table was only 5-10 minutes). The thing with radiation therapy, though, is that sometimes the machines get cranky and your time gets rescheduled. For example, My time was 2 PM but twice I was told to come at 4 instead. Chemo may require more time off work, though.

I think we are moving into personal stuff that doesn't belong on this forum.

@maddiemae5, your situation sounds very complicated. Your partner has been diagnosed with cancer and you are reluctantly in the role of caregiver without full knowledge of the diagnosis or benefit of going to appointments with him. On top of that, it sounds like your relationship is no longer a partnership that either of you want. You have both grown apart and live together with feelings of hostility and lack of trust.

I encourage you to find out if you can talk to someone - for yourself - to manage the complicated situation you are in. Most cancer centers and hospitals have social workers who offer appointments for the caregiver. You can learn more about oncology social workers from this article:

- How an Oncology Social Worker Can Help https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/cancer-education-center/newsfeed-post/how-an-oncology-social-worker-can-help/

Another option is FindHelp. FindHelp https://www.findhelp.org/ can help find local low cost and no cost resources including things like social work, support services, care and more.

Well said, Colleen.