@pamela78 Thank you and the same to you and your family🙏

It’s not easy. Dad was extremely clever, and highly respected in his profession for his intellect so it has been extra hard seeing his decline. His colleagues from years ago greet him when Dad is walking with one of us in the shopping centre, but he doesn’t recognise or remember any of them. He still greets them and enjoys the exchange. They recognise where he’s at so keep greeting him. People can be so very kind and caring.

I worked in the same profession as Dad so I recognise some and will let him know the connection when we move on. He likes me doing that as it helps him remember those days. I do it casually like it’s totally normal he can’t remember them. Although he’ll quickly forget again, it’s a positive experience in his day and I’m sure that good feeling stays with him in some form.

Dad is fiercely independent since my mother died unexpectedly from small cell lung cancer 15+ years ago. We had to teach him everything Mum used to do for him (he still cooks his meals on a safety proofed gas stove). I think embedding certain routines has now helped him accept his dementia and mental decline (we never use that word with him). We have printed posters around his home to help him remember to do things (like shower and change his underwear on certain days). We remodelled his bathroom into essentially a wet room with a walk in shower, a seat and handrails and a counter with a mirror. He has a huge electronic clock on the bathroom counter with the day, date and time in big letters. He checks it regularly as he has lost all concept of time and won’t remember what he did in a day a short while later unless helped to remember certain things (like dogs he saw). We also have a big calendar on the table where he eats which as a family we all fill in. If it’s not in the calendar it’s not happening!! He’s learnt to check that and now gets enormous comfort from doing so, numerous times a day. The calendar also helps us as a family to make sure he doesn’t have blank days, to not double up and to step up. One of my young nieces and her fiancé both live with him, but both work. They do all his medications and make sure he takes them. We fill in around them. We all love Dad so very much. He’s been the best father and now grandfather. It’s our turn to have his back 🙏

I do think the way we interact with Dad has helped him and all of us cope with his dementia. I accept what works for him and us may not work for others.