← Return to Moving

Discussion

Moving

Aging Well | Last Active: Feb 20 10:02pm | Replies (26)

Comment receiving replies
@tcokeefe

I understand what you are feeling. I lived somewhere else for 45 years. As you say, I knew it like the back of my hand. I moved there in my early 20s and feel as if I basically grew up there. I was a part of the community and had many friends and memories. We decided to buy an house in New England 20 years ago, in order to be closer to our son and his wife and kids. The first few years were fine because we went back back-and-forth, but after that, it was full-time here is the medical care where we used to live is terrible andI have Stage three heart failure. Anyway, long story short, for the past 20 years I have felt as if I have no home even though we have a lovely house here. I do not feel grounded or connected. The people here have often been here all their lives, raised their children here, and really are not interested in making new friends. And if I'm honest, I don't feel like I have a lot in common with them. The one good thing is I get great medical care where we are now, but my life for the past 20 years has had a pervasive sense of loneliness. And let's face it. Kids are not like friends. They have their own lives and are in a completely different stage than we are. Yes there is a connection, but you can't rely on them to build your social life. At least not in our case. I have managed to connect with a few women, and joined a Bookclub and some activities at the library. But I just don't have those deep wonderful connections that I left behind. It's hard. I have yet to come across a real solution.

Jump to this post


Replies to "I understand what you are feeling. I lived somewhere else for 45 years. As you say,..."

I understand what you’re saying. I’m wrestling with the decision to move to retirement community as I also have HF and no family nearby. I think these adjustments are part of aging. We can never go back to a past “happier” time in our lives. If we could we’d never get old. One issue stopping me is I’m still independent but lack friends. However, I not sure about living with assisted living and nursing home. It’s not easy.