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Howdy! While I think there are pros to moving to a retirement community with meals, activities and care, I’m also thinking that doing so may actually decrease your quality of living some. I am currently 57 and still have parents living in their 80’s now. One set lives independently in their own large home still and one set lives in a CCRC community. I am noticing that the parents living independently seem happier, more free, they still have to meal plan, shop for food and cook the food…they do have a cleaning service, anyway, and they love their 4,500 sq foot home. The other set is living in a 900 sq foot apartment with one meal a day for $8,900 per month. They had to get rid of almost everything they owned and there are some pluses, I guess, in that they are cared for “until the end”, but are they truly happy and living their best life? They don’t seem very happy, with friends passing way, not sure of meals, the quality, uncertain at times of the future of their CCRC community and the care they may need. It’s not an easy decision or process. I’m hoping to stay in my home, independent until the end…I’m hoping that by staying active, cleaning my own house, gardening, making meals, walking daily and living in a community with all ages of people helps me stay young at heart and in body, mind and spirit. To walk in the park and see young ones skipping, playing, riding their bikes, trick or treaters, those small moments bring joy, hope, the future. I do think all ages Cohousing is also a wonderful model for intentional living…the Blue Zone way. I’m hoping that by the time I’m 80+, we can figure out a way to live in community with all ages, to share resources, gifts, talents and to feel part of the fabric of life, community, friends that are like family, church helps a lot too! But to answer your question directly: you can hire a service to help you downsize, pack up, donate to the White Dove or Goodwill. Good luck to us all out there! Mia 🙂
Replies to "Howdy! While I think there are pros to moving to a retirement community with meals, activities..."
Love the comparison between the choices made by your two parents. In a way, we're splitting the baby -- we're moving to a facility (not a CCRC) where the different levels of care are co-owned and co-located on a single campus, but we're moving to a cottage/patio home (not an apartment) where we can keep our current lifestyle. I'm assuming that your two sets of parents made the choices they did for their own separate reasons, and that this needs to be factored in when observing the results.
If you have not found this book, you might want to chase it down: https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/books/bookstore/home-family-caregiving/info-2019/disrupting-the-status-quo-of-senior-living.html. It's surprisingly expensive in hard copy, even used, so you might want to see if your public library has it available. (Even if your library does not have it, they may be willing to borrow it for you from another in-state or out-of-state library for a small fee, so you might want to ask about that option.) Or get it as an e-book.
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I recall listening to a gerontologist on a radio talk show. One thing she said stuck with me: STOP paying for things you think will make your life EASIER!!
Whether services or implements, the more you rely on ease-of-living methods and items, the more ground you lose toward your end. The more autonomy you retain and insist upon, the more motivated you are to do things for yourself, and the more robust and strong you keep your body as a result of doing all these things (better balance, more core strength, stronger grip, and a stronger cardiovascular system), the longer you will enjoy life, be switched-on, see things, enjoy the outdoors, and retain your cognitive function.
My 95 year old dad (will be in three weeks) just passed his automotive licensing medical. He passed his driver's test at 94 last year, and I hope he does again. Sadly, only five months ago he wanted assisted death and had started the paperwork. Reason? He had several falls, although they were related to low sodium. He had fractured a vertebra and was in real pain, but also immobilized...or all but. He felt his life was over. Now, with his mental toughness, and his ability to claw himself back up the muddy slope, he is walking again, and about to have a driver's exam so he can get to his beloved Spanish classes (he has been fluent all his adult life, but enjoys the friendships of those who have the intellectual drive to take up a language as they age), and also his gospel singing.