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Newly a caregiver for my spouse with stage 4 colorectal cancer

Posted by lmhgator80 @lmhgator80, Oct 26, 2024

Hi I am a new caregiver of my husband of 15yrs with stage 4 colon cancer with Mets to his liver and lungs. We have 2 kids and we are in our late 40’s. My world has been completely turned upside down from a family of 4 that did everything together to me and the kids spending time alone while my husband is sick in bed and weak. He has had his colon resection, port placed and 3 hospitalizations in 6 weeks. He will hopefully start his chemo journey next week. I am so worried and scared for our future. It’s so hard to see him physically changing and not being present with us. My kids are 14 and 12, they don’t understand how sick he is. I don’t know what is going to happen. I fear for his life every time I lay next to him but my anxiety and emotions are so high right now. I fear I am not doing enough to get him the care he needs. I don’t feel supported by our doctor and nurse. I have had to research a lot of things myself. Anyone have any advice or hope that can somehow help me feel like I don’t have a black cloud over me. The next 6 mos are going to be a big change for us.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Colorectal Cancer Support Group.

Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Feb 14 4:35pm
In reply to @sbelyea "I am going through a similar trauma with my wife. Stage four colon cancer with severe..." + (show)
@sbelyea

I am going through a similar trauma with my wife. Stage four colon cancer with severe met to her liver. Colon resection, ostomy, heavy chemo. The first weeks were very discouraging as she was told to get her affairs in order.
With support from friends and family we decided to travel to Mass General in Boston for a second opinion.
The liver surgeon cancer specialist there gave us great hope that curative surgery is an option if the chemo works at all. If the chemo doesn’t work as expected he plans to place a Hepatic Arterial Infusion Pump under her skin to boost a concentrated chemo directly to her liver artery. He is confident they can reduce her liver tumors to the point he can operate.
This gave us renewed hope and the difference in my wife’s condition improved dramatically almost overnight.
We still have a long road ahead but hope is a powerful drug of its own. I’m sorry I can’t comment about met to the lungs as we believe her lungs are currently clear.
You are strong enough to handle this - get a second opinion and treat it like problem solving

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@sbelyea, I wanted to add my welcome (a little late to party, I know). You may also be interested in following the ostomy group:
- Ostomy support group: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/ostomy/

How are things going with chemo? How are YOU doing?

REPLY
1 reply
sbelyea | @sbelyea | Feb 15 6:39am
In reply to @colleenyoung "@sbelyea, I wanted to add my welcome (a little late to party, I know). You may..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

@sbelyea, I wanted to add my welcome (a little late to party, I know). You may also be interested in following the ostomy group:
- Ostomy support group: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/ostomy/

How are things going with chemo? How are YOU doing?

Jump to this post

Thank you Colleen, much appreciated and I will join the Ostomy Group.

We’ve found chemo to be a matter of continuous adjustment of diet and meds to avoid severe nausea, cramps related to colon surgery, and fatigue.
So far it seems to be a rough week following chemo (3hrs at the hospital then 48hrs with a take-home pic line pump) but then a pretty good second week before the next round of chemo.

It’s been a really tough winter where we live so we’re looking forward to warmer weather, sunshine, and fresh air walks soon.

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