I hope since you posted this that life has gotten easier for your husband and you.

My husband was diagnosed with UC late in 2023, he was put on mesalamine which fast tracked an horrific flare, a 50 lb weight loss in 2 1/2 months, a hospital stay with multiple transfusions. They prescribed Humera and a high dose of prednisone. At first he was weepy and clingy (very out of character) and then the anger and meanness came. Like you, I gave him space. We are lucky enough to live on the pacific coast with great beaches so I spent a great deal of time there collecting agates. The Humera was working well enough that he was able to phase out the prednisone thankfully. The Humera stopped being as effective and he is now on renvoq which seems to be working and life is almost back to normal.

My issue is that, while I am acutely aware that he was going through something horrible and painful and on mind altering drugs, I am left feeling resentful of his treatment of me during that time.
I’m having flashback memories of things he said and did that I suppressed.
I feel awful and guilty having these feelings.
Being a caregiver is such hard and important work.