Terrified is the word. Dark places - I understand.

It was two years ago this Friday I had my first pet scan, and then met with the doctor the next day. Not knowing if I would be told to go home and die or be treated. Getting to the doctor's office was one of the longest walks I've ever had.

I was lucky. My doctors at Mayo had a plan with "curative intent." We hung onto those words for the next several months. To this day really.

Many would agree, I think, that the emotional/mental part of this terrible road is somewhat better when you have a plan after meeting with your doctors. Then, you can focus on that plan.

I had stage 3. Lower esophagus and two lymph nodes - "advanced localized" is what it was called.

I had two months of FLOT chemo and then 25 radiation sessions (with three more chemo infusions) and esophagectomy on August 3, 2023. Nothing easy or fun about it, but doable.

My ct scans since have been clean - no cancer. I did have a surgical complication that's not really relevant for you at this point.

It's a challenging road, very challenging. But, others have it worse. Hard to believe but true, we all know people in that even worse boat.

Your husband can do this, all of us here know he can. He may find another level of toughness he didn't know he had. I did. Determination and persistence.

The support your husband and you get from family and friends will be extraordinary.

And, believe it or not, there will be other "good things" that come from this battle. A whole new way of looking at the world. Perhaps a more thoughtful way.

Your road as a caregiver is so very hard too, also terrifying - and totally exhausting. Caregivers are angels, I think we'd all agree on that too.

Be kind to yourself. Take good care of yourself along the way.

Keep all of us in the loop, please. We're here to help however we can. Writing like this or by taking on the phone.

Gary