Hi, I am so sorry to hear you’re going through this. It has got to be frustrating and confusing. The one thing that I have learned through my journey, is that you need to be your own best advocate. You know your body better than anyone else.
Have you mentioned the different pathology reports to the doctors? I would start there. They should explain the difference in findings to you and you should be very comfortable and confident in their answers.
Verify with your doctor regarding the vulvectomy and having to wear diapers, they might be talking about a different type of surgery.
Hopefully, other women on here can share their experiences, as well.
Most important, this is not your fault. There are several causes to this rare type of cancer.
Please let us know how you’re doing.