I am the sole caregiver for my husband who is dying from stage 4 terminal lung cancer and advanced COPD. We have hospice coming in, but they only come in twice a week, take his vitals, ask how he is doing, then they leave. They do take care of all of his meds. But my husband is also an addict. When he runs out of his pain meds and his xanax, he goes into panic attacks. The only reason he runs out is because he takes more than prescribed for a day. Yesterday was horrible. He was sobbing, shaking and then began screaming at me. He had me in tears and I did not know what to do so I gave him 3 of my xanax. He kept saying that he felt like killing himself. I did call a priest to come give him his last rites. His family is catholic but not practicing. He hasn't been in a church since he was probably 11 years old. But if I mention my minister he goes into a rage that he will only talk to a priest. After he screamed at me yesterday to get out of the room and take my God crap with me, I did. I will never mention God to him again unless he asks. Of course I will continue to pray for him. Then here comes this priest and tells him that evolution was real and that we evolved from animals. Sorry, I don't believe that for a second. But everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. OK, enough of that. But his sister lives in Pittsburgh and that is about an hour away from us and the traffic is horrible down in pittsburgh. So, they don't offer help. He wouldn't let them if they did. His other sister lives out of state. He does not want anyone coming to sit with him or help him bathe or anything. He hasn't showered in over a month and he won't let me help him either. He can be such a rude person and stubborn to the point where no one wants to help. I found out that he was very rude the last time one of the hospice nurses came and he was screaming at her. He, of course, did not tell me any of that. I will be home today when she comes. They don't deserve that kind of treatment. They have a hard job to do and thank God they are willing to do this kind of work. So, YES, it is hard to be the sole caregiver. Prayers for you.