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I just joined this site so I may be getting in this discussion a bit late from when it started. However, I'm very glad to see that the topic of gay men with prostate cancer is being discussed. I too am a gay man with very similar feelings about ADT and all its negative side effects and the outlook of getting a sexual life of any sort back to pre-treatment.
Although I've begun to accept the situation (fighting it all the way) a world without even the ability to barely masturbate, I have my days when I really wonder if this is all worth it. Going from having an extremely high libido all my life (including when I'm in my 70s) to almost none, is very difficult for me to accept. It is refreshing to hear from other gay men and those who support the situation helps a great deal. However, having prostate cancer and all that it entails is difficult enough, there is still a different perspective for gay men from heterosexual men when working with healthcare systems and society. I am seeing small strides in this area and look forward to more in the future.
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I wanted to respond to you because I am in a much better place now emotionally and a considerably better place physically. I wrote a lot of these posts back in August when I was in the worst throes of ADT--I still had Lupron in my system AND Orgovyx which I had just started. Within a couple months, the Lupron washed out, I went to see a therapist, and also joined a gay men's prostate cancer support group and it's been a huge help to talk about these issues in real time. I started taking an antidepressant and it has helped considerably.
I went back to doing my volunteer work, re-established several friendships I had let go by the wayside, and just generally became more social and less isolated (I was isolating myself by choice). That alone has helped tremendously.
I've even learned to find some humor in things, such as when a doctor asked me "prior to ADT, how often did you have vaginal intercourse?" and I was able to truthfully respond "Never."