Connect
Pissed! Cancer is back, pain is not managed
I had stage 3 colon cancer in 2016, and now a CT scan show nodules and a thickening of the colon wall. In 2016 the treatment felt like it was going to kill me. Some days I felt like I had to get better in order to die. I chose NOT to have a colostomy even thought my surgeon and I had several heated discussions about it. The Pain from the surgery was worst I have ever had, like someone was holding a cigarette to my most sensitive bottom part. I Could not sit for several weeks. My surgeon nor my Oncologist ever told me what to do to help the pain and the oxy he was giving me was not touching it. (30mg 6 times a day) I have since learned the secret to help. I got a bidet.
So I couldnt sit, I had an ileostomy on my right side, a JP drain on my left, my abdominal pain from surgery. I was in pretty sad shape.
Now I found out (I'm pretty sure) the cancer has come back. I live in Tennessee and we have the MOST restrictive laws in the nation with regards to pain meds. The doctors are only allowed to give a max total of 40mg of oxy per day or risk loosing their license.
Im pissed that my cancer is back, Im pissed Im going to have to have surgery again, I pissed that my pain is NOT going to be managed properly, Im pissed Im going to have to be on chemo again. And above all else Im pissed my wife is going to have to go through this again. And Im going to have a colostomy this time.
I wrote this earlier and just by writing this I feel better, I think I am more scared than pissed. Oh well life goes on. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't want to burden my wife with all this, she has enough on her plate without me putting this on her.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Colorectal Cancer Support Group.
Connect
I understand 🙏
@miknur, venting allowed. This is a good place to do it. It's so true that we don't want to burden our closest loved ones with anger and fear. However, I wonder if your wife might like to talk about your real feelings? She may be angry and scared too.
I ask only because my dad had a similar diagnosis, starting with stage 3 and a couple of years later it returned. My dad didn't share many of his feelings with me, but he and my mom had frank heart-to-heart discussions about the present and the future. They remain some of the most cherished discussions. Food for thought.
I'm sorry that your pain isn't being managed. Dealing with pain can also put one on a short fuse and quick to anger. Does your cancer center have a palliative care team? They are often the specialists in pain management. Your comfort is their top priority.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsThank You
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionTry xeloda to shrink the cancer
I will talk to my Doc about it.
@miknur I’m so sorry. I hope your suspicion isn’t correct and it’s a false alarm. If not I hope you can speak with your wife and let her share this next fight back. I like many others totally understand where you’re at. Those of us in remission dread and fear re-engaging in the fight again.
Just a thought about pain management. I’ve heard so many good things by cancer patients about medical marijuana. I haven’t (yet) needed to use it myself but it’s on my radar if needed.
https://mmdmedicaldoctors.com/advantages-of-colorado-medical-cannabis-card/
Thank you for your comment. Latest up date I am now noting blood in my stool. In Tennessee where I live, Medical Marijuana is NOT allowed. Also It has the most restrictive laws for opioid prescriptions in the country. Pain management is also a joke here.
Im still pissed/worried, but Im dealing with the situation. My wife is very supportive but I hate to see her worried.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction