← Return to Lung cancer stage 4: Anyone's spouse refuse to help themselves?

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@susannac

We had to get the wider family involved to help with the additional expenses due to the care for my brother as he was and will always be tone deaf when it comes to money. You are not in the position to shoulder these expenses on your own and should not be expected to do that. Meet with your sons and their SOs and tell them you need them to help out with these additional expenses. Tell them about his nearly wrecked banking account. How much he needs to do these things to get through stuff right now. Give the sons an amount they need to send you each month like 200-300 a month. Do that and that way they are more actively involved. Also let them fill in for you a couple times a month so you can take some mini-trips as it is grueling to be a care giver as much as you love doing that for your husband. You might be surprised to see how willing they are to help right now which will take the pressure off of you. I hope that will help you - but just do it. Everything will work out. Really - and take care of yourself. It's not easy being a care giver -

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Replies to "We had to get the wider family involved to help with the additional expenses due to..."

Thanks for the suggestion of asking my sons. My youngest son is not working now. He does construction work and is very irresponsible. Lets just say that every gray hair I have came from him. My older son does help me alot as far as fixing my car, etc., and helping fix things around the house. He is a great kid. I just talked to my pcp and told her about my choking. She used to be my husband's pcp until he over dosed on his meds. She told him that she would never give him a pain med again. She was so angry with him. Anyhow, she said, "I hate to beat a dead horse, but I think most of these health problems that you are having now are stemming from the stress you are dealing with." I feel like such a wuss because I know that I don't have to deal with things like other caregivers do. Your sister for instance, I am sure has a much more stressful job of caring for your brother than I do caring for Joe. But I know there will come a day when I will be doing much much for him. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffer day by day. but he isn't suffering as much as your other people including your brother. Prayers for all of you. Have a great rest of your day.