My attitude is to be careful not to say too much "pull up your big girl panties" to someone who has headed into depression over their diagnosis. What I remember 30 years ago after watching my hair fall out, seeing my mastectomy scar, feeling sick with mouth sores, and having 4 children ages 5, 7, 10 and 17 I hoped I'd live to raise, was that I was MAD and Deepak Chopra was writing about having "positive thoughts" to help cancer heal. It's okay to be furious at the Cancer, to yell out loud at it, and it won't affect your prognosis. I later wished I'd been offered an anti-depressant. What helped my get out of my depression was going back to part time work with Kindergartners, reading little kid stories and distracting myself with their exuberance and fun. I said "no thanks" to Tamoxifen (not tested yet on pre-menopausal women) and "hooray" for my periods returning, just to get back to some normalcy. I did not get a recurrence for 32 years. Please know some people can't be chipper and positive, they may need to fight and rail against it!