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@brightwings

@contentandwell
I have been reading your posts about your friend. I have had PLENTY OF FEELINGS about them. Its not what you are saying as much as what other people said to me that your words remind me of.
Things like..."why can't you get off the drugs...just be happy....oh you really don't want to hurt yourself, do you? Why can't you just get better?????????
The truth is: this is not for you to decide if your friend needs the drugs or not. This is their recovery and life...NOT YOURS.
I can feel you care about this person. That's why I am addressing this with you.
You can encourage them but that is it. Oh if I had a dollar for every time some one wanted me to change FOR THEM, NOT ME...I WOULD BE A RICH WOMAN...VERY VERY RICH.
THE truth is you can offer help but they have to decide. You can pray and ask others for prayers for them but they are the only one to make these decisions.
I purposely held back from responding to these posts. I would have ROARED at you before. Now I can say these things with out my personal feelings involved.
I am not upset with you now. Please respect that your friend is doing what is right for them even if you want things different. This is their life. They get to chose how they live it even if you don't approve.
How many times I felt I was not doing it right from people. Even if I wanted to be with them the unspoken disapproval drove me away. Just because some think us crazy we can still feel! It only hurt me, it never helped. I was peddling as fast as I could.
So many folks disapproved of my decisions. It made me feel not good about myself. I couldn't ever do anything right.
I hope you can hear me. Bright Wings
.
I know your desire is to help but you are NOT. Please just accept your friend. That is the greatest gift you can give.
I am doing my best to say this lovingly. I know you love your friend. No hard feelings?

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Replies to "@contentandwell I have been reading your posts about your friend. I have had PLENTY OF FEELINGS..."

@brightwings No hard feelings at all. I have been very much taking the approach you mention, I do not want to intrude and possibly make things worse. I have only suggested a second opinion at Mass General which I discovered recently is considered to the be, along with their many top medical facilities, the top psychiatric facility in the country. Other than that I just pray for them, but it is helpful for me to understand what is what.
JK

Hi JK,
I think for some of us, our mental illness could be compared to diabetes, which requires both lifetime medication and changes in our daily living to help improve our health. Certainly, schizophrenia, major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder are examples of these. For others, it's more like mono, requiring months of care rather than a lifetime situation. In both cases, it can be difficult to find the right meds. And if you are unlucky enough to be put on Effexor or a drug with similar side effects, it exacerbates the problem and confuses the effort to see what is what. Personally i needed medication long before i started it 16 years ago and I am 64 now. I have been on different meds to find the right combo (including effexor!) And then had a manic episode in 2015 -- my first and hopefully only -- which was triggered by steroids for my rheumatoid arthritis, stress, and who knows what else. I don't know the criteria that says how to tell the difference between short term and long term illness except trial and error. My sister and daughter are also on antidepressants and both tried being off them for 9 months to a year. But they found they needed them and are back on.
Mental illness is complicated and hindered by stigma, misinformation , and limited available research. The struggle continues....
Cathy

I sure wish I could edit after the very initial time. I too often see little errors that I make like "to the be". I have no idea why that "the" is in there.

@contentandwell

Dito Dito Dito!!!!! I wish they had an edit system like other forums where you can always edit (as long as your signed in) instead of the 30 minutes allotted. My posts are so messed up I need more than 30 minutes.

@jakedduck1 maybe that will happen with the system changes if we all wish hard enough.
JK