Taylor, please for your own sake and that of your family..... see a doctor. For some people, medication may be a necessary evil. Do what you have to. The quality of your life is important. Maybe you can try a different anti depressant, but your family will know and you will be miserable. Don't give up!

Hi, @taylorwatkins13 — really glad to hear from you. I am glad your awful withdrawal symptoms have gotten much better. I am also glad you are self-aware enough to realize you are having a hard time getting through the day now. I think that knowing where you are at helps.

I would encourage you to be open to taking another antidepressant — at least talking to a psychiatrist about the possibility — since you are feeling extremely depressed now. A number of years ago I was having issues with the antidepressant I was taking — Citalopram (Celexa) — because I no longer experienced high highs or low lows in my emotional spectrum. It also made me gain weight, which I certainly didn't want. Through explaining all this to my psychiatrist, he was able to see what I needed and wanted in an antidepressant and prescribed something different, which turned out to be just the thing to help me. I think that in the same way, if you visited with your doctor about what you need and want, he or she might be able to figure out what would be best for you, if another medication was where they thought you should go.

I think that not having my depression negatively affect my kids also really motivated me — I wanted to be as level as possible for them. I think that is a good measure — looking at whether you are where you want to be emotionally to be the mom you want to be.

I know you mentioned your husband is often gone with the military. If you were to go in to the doctor, would one of your girlfriends take your children for a bit? Or do you have any family nearby?

Thank you! I have an appointment with my doctor. But unfortunately it isn’t for two weeks. I go to a naval hospital for my PCM and it is very busy. I don’t have family nearby. They are on the other side of the country. I don’t know many people here yet. I will probably bring my kids with me to the appointment.

I won’t give up. It isn’t in my nature. Thank you ♥️