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Convincing someone with dementia they need to move to assisted living
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Feb 13 9:07am | Replies (22)Comment receiving replies
@kdub1 I'm in the process of placing my 64 yo husband into a dementia care facility and hoping he won't be too resistant (fingers crossed). I haven't brought the subject up....yet....because until its a definite and everything is a go, i don't want him to worry about it. Altho, I'm sure he won't remember if I tell him. I tend NOT to tell him too far in advance about anything we're doing outside the house because he won't remember or he'll constantly keep asking me the same questions. He's pretty good about just going with the flow 🙂 I've been playing the scenario in my head how I'm going to tell him and I've decided to tell him that I need help to take care of him and that these nice people will do that for us. And because he doesn't understand the length of time anymore (as in minutes. hours, days, etc), i'm gonna let him know that i'll be back shortly and check on him shortly. Which is what I tell him already when he's laying down to take a nap and he always says "ok" 🙂 So I'm hoping that will work the day I have to leave him there.
I hope you find help for your situation and that you can rest easy. Can you move your mom in with you and get some in-home care?
Hugs and prayers to you
Replies to "@kdub1 I'm in the process of placing my 64 yo husband into a dementia care facility..."
@bayviewgal My guy is 63 and we are in the same spot. I plan on telling him a therapeutic fib that my sister needs me and I have to go to her, plus I've found a great furnished apartment for him to stay at while I get her settled...in reality it's a locked unit in a Memory Care facility...pray for us!
Question: are you in the private Facebook group for female caregivers of EOAD spouses/partners?
My husband of 52 years has Lewy Body Dementia. We moved to a Continuing Care Retirement Community six years ago as an independent couple. He was with me until a year ago when he moved to Assisted Living. I told him I needed help with his care. The worst of the move was the loss for both of us. Even though I visited him every day it took about four months to adjust to the separation. This past December I moved him to nursing care. I guess I just want you to be prepared for the emotional loss that you will feel even though it will also be a relief.
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I'm sorry you are going through that. It's almost nice to hear that he won't remember you telling him because it makes it a little easier to say it. I find with my mom that she remembers things when whatever is being said makes her angry. She can somehow hold those memories or at least the feeling of being mad at me. I also agree with you about not telling them things too far in advance. There's just no need to. I'm happy for you that he sounds easy going. I wish I had any of that with my mom. She's usually suspicious and sometimes mad and almost never easy to talk to.
No, she can't live with me. I work full time and she needs more care than I can give. I need to leave her at her home until I can talk her into an assisted living. I'd like to not move her multiple times if I can help it.