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Convincing someone with dementia they need to move to assisted living
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Feb 13 9:07am | Replies (22)Comment receiving replies
Hate to say it but what usually happens is that things get worse- pneumonia, a fall, sudden increase in disorientation due to taking meds improperly/poor nutrition. Often then to a PCP visit, then directed from there to the ER, then the person is admitted to the hospital and after a few days, the social service people help you arrange for an AL /Memory Care that will take her for “some therapy to get stronger to go home again”, she goes by wheelchair van (not you). The PT/OT starts, the days go by, she may be happy with the meals, the activities, not being “in charge”, she may say she wants to go home, but the reality is, the dementia will interfere with her being able to make and carry out a plan to do that.
The legal process of guardianship requires she be declared incompetent to manage herself and her own choices, the process requires testing and testimony. Judges are understandably very careful about taking someone’s agency away.
A note- if/when a hospital admission happens, Medicare requires a three day qualifying stay to pay for a short-term Rehab placement (1-2wks), this will get you some breathing room to look into facilities, find placement for the dogs, clean out her fridge, etc, then a direct admission from the Rehab.
Replies to "Hate to say it but what usually happens is that things get worse- pneumonia, a fall,..."
I do think we are at the point of her having confusion due to improperly taking her meds and poor nutrition. She lives in a small town in WV and I've called Adult Protective Services a few times and asked for them to check on her. Nothing came of it. They said she'd have to have bed sores or be wondering outside in order to have them intervene. I like your idea of the per PC sending her to the hospital but that did happen last October due her appearing very confused when diagnosed with a UTI but the hospital sent her back home. Since October, she has declined, so maybe they wouldn't be so quick to send her back home.
I'm in the process of getting the paperwork completed to petition for guardianship. I'm guessing that will make it easier to make her move but I so don't want to do that. I want her to have a say in this.
Obviously you’re very knowledgeable…thank you for this information
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Yes, that's what happened to our family. Then we all saw that assisted living was not only the best, and really the only, alternative it was like a vacation resort with all day restaurant, 24/7 snacks delivered to the room upon request, gym and swimming pool, various comfortable lounges, immaculate grounds for walking and sitting, angelic, caring competent aides (mostly), various medical professionals and friendly and interesting residents. We could visit 24/7 and it was such a relief for everyone. It wasn't even the most expensive place in the area either. The fact that we were repulsed and fearful of assisted living was totally unnecessary and frankly ignorant.