Man, that’s a tough situation. My cousin was resistant to enter assisted living, but I convinced her it was short term and her doctor supported me, in that she needed help with physical therapy, medication adjustment, nutrition on track, etc. And, that I would take care of her cat. She eventually forgot about her cat and the fact she had a house. She thought the facility was her apartment. But, if that doesn’t work, you might get legal advice about being appointed her guardian. That way, you legally make the decisions about where she lives. If she’s mean at that point, she might qualify for placement at a facility for those with dementia and behavioral problems. There are a few of those in my state. Or she may need a secure memory care facility. Getting her assessed would be helpful, if she would cooperate.

I would be concerned about her care of the pets. She may think she’s being kind to them, but unknowingly harm or neglect them due to her cognitive ability. My cousin overfed her cat, because she would forget she already did it.

I’ll be honest and say that in light of the grief I get from my parents by their resistance to care…..I would not volunteer to become their guardian. I wish I was not involved in their care either. It’s too draining and traumatic, imo. I might ask another family member to step in or report the situation to social services so they can intervene, if they see fit.

Good luck. I hope you find some helpful options.