What is a Prostatectomy Like?

Unfortunately, this does happen with some people but it is a minority. I had no real problems after surgery and didn’t require diapers, Didn’t really even need pads after the catheter was removed. Someone else in this forum reported the same thing in the last week.

Results are so mixed. Sorry your situation has been so bad. You may want to consider an artificial urinary sphincter.

I’m so very sorry to hear of your “living hell” post-op, surveyr. Like jeffmarc I thankfully had a different post-op experience. As has been said often on this site, our paths are so varied - both in symptoms, treatment, and results.

We often don’t get to choose our path but we do choose our response to that path. Keep the faith, friend. You can still impact the resultant path you follow in recovery. Work hard by following the surgeon/doc’s suggestions and then work some more. Don’t give up!

I'm with you brother.
Cancer has given me the "Life sucks and then you die" attitude.
Absolutely nothing good about it, then the question is.
Do you want to live? Spouse, Partner, Kids, Grandkids, Friends.
Do you want to live?
I am 12 years after diagnosis, on my 3rd recurrence, having SBRT on Friday at Mayo.
Keep fighting!!!!

That's a valid vent.
But because we're not robots, it's different for everyone.
Some are continent within milliseconds. People like you & I are still leaking months afterwards.

The catheter was no fun - neither is incontinence.
But you know what else is not fun? Being dead.
I've always said that I feel lucky it's prostate cancer.
Why? Because if it was bladder cancer or lung cancer or something, I couldn't just say "Meh... take it out".
But with prostate cancer, we can.
It's still worse than not having cancer at all, but we're better off than some.

In terms of incontinence, ED etc.... it's just part of it. The main thing is getting rid of the cancer.
I know just was well as anyone else here what massive pain it is to leak constantly.
But there's a lot of support & ways to deal with it.
We just have to get through this, one challenge at a time.
The alternative is to do nothing. That option rarely ends well.

I had a lot of pain after my surgery. They gave me pain pills which helped with the pain. Unfortunately I had no idea that the pain pills would make me severely constipated . And THAT pain was worse than the surgery. I finally got that straightened out. I am incontinent to this day 19 years latter. I had a recurrence of cancer 7 years later. Then 39 salvage radiation treatments. I was cancer free for 2 year and now it is back again growing slowly. I am mow just under surveillance.

Although today is still the Chinese Spring Festival, belongs to the festive time, but tonight I saw "What is Prostatectomy?" After that, I cried! The patient's words "This is hell on earth" deeply hurt my heart! I have written this several times and tears have filled my eyes and interrupted the typing on the keyboard! When I underwent surgery for radical prostate cancer on January 7, 2023, I recalled the pain of lying in bed, flipping over for 20 minutes. The most memorable is that on the night of the 21st, I dreamed that my mother, who has been dead for 35 years, came to visit me in the hospital, and I heard my mother calling me from far away: "Son, how can you be so?" To see you so ill, as if you were cutting my flesh, my bones, my heart..." I saw my mother come to my bed and call out, "Mom, mom, mom! . We held each other and cried... The crying alarmed the nurse, who immediately came to the ward to calm me. I woke up with tears on my pillow.
For more than two years, even though I've been doing Kegel exercises, pelvic floor muscle exercises, I still have over 70% incontinence. Read: surveyr @survey, @fwintracy, @briang1958, @peterj116, @firespooks several gentlemen's posts, very touched! The situation with @firespooks in particular has been very moving and inspiring for me, and I will definitely continue to exercise to recover the urination ban.

I was one of the fortunate ones who was continent within “milliseconds”. Best of luck.

After surgery, it was 3 1/2 years before it came back, Had seven weeks of radiation 2 1/2 years later it came back. At that point, I was put Lupron Which kept me undetectable for another three years.

Now you really have me concerned with your being just under surveillance. With your case history that is a death watch. I just can’t think of any people that had long cancer free days after a 3rd reoccurrence without treatment..

You need to find yourself a different set of doctors, Time to hit a center of excellence. You should probably be on ADT or your cancer is going to come back viciously. It has come back three times. Do they really expect it to not continue to grow after coming back a third time.. If you don’t get put on something after your recurrence following Salvage radiation it is almost malpractice. I’ve heard from people whose urologist did this to them and they just got worse, metastasis don’t wait to attack, they love untreated Prostate cancer patients.

At 69 I was officiating high school lacrosse in 4 months and quit pads after 5 months. I still get a drip but wear sport type underwear, so it evaporates and doesn't smell and literally a drop every now and then. Sitting on something hard or that has a sharp edge causes my bladder neck to bend like a whip cream can nozzle, so I am careful about where and how I sit. We have to learn the "new me" and get living. Wearing black shorts and pants is helpful too as they don't show the wet spot if you do leak. I'm the only guy during the game that is standing in the middle of the field that knows I just "pissed myself" and just smile as life is good while chasing my passion.