My logical brain knows this, but it really does help for me to read this today. It helps me with the ubiquitous question everyone here seems to ask before or after: did I choose the right treatment, as well as the promising possibility that half my nerve bundle might actually be enough.

In 48 hours from now I'll be going under, the thought of which doesn't scare me, but waking up from it and then a week later when the catheter comes out is giving me more and more anxiety. It's all in Gods and the surgeons hands now, I've done all I can do and worrying won't get me anywhere but wow the end result is a serious mind bender (there's an entirely different word I want to use instead of bender, by the way, ENTIRELY).

My appetite is almost zero right now, on a scale of 1-10 my stress is at 94.7. I'm kind of at the point of "let's get this over with already" but also not.

Here is what I pray: everything I hoped for happens and I can come back here and write the ever-so-hard-to-find success story of my intense worry followed by "well, that was for nothing" and inspire others that are just starting this totally messed up journey (again, I didn't want to use the word messed...) to give them some hope. Too few of those around, far too few.

Thanks Phil, at this very moment, those words helped me.