You may have read my previous posts about my nightmare with Effexor withdrawal. It's a long and slow process and if you know that in the beginning, I think you will be much better in the journey. As of 2 weeks ago I am antidepressant free after the withdrawal of Effexor on to Lexapro. What I have read about these antidepressants truly opened my eyes as to how powerful and toxic they are. It doesn't take weeks to withdraw.....it takes MONTHS and maybe even a year. But don't let that scare you. Each day is a struggle but there is light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. I still struggle with anxiety due to life losses and have been doing research on CBD oil. I ordered a small bottle and haven't had the "nerve" to try it yet. I think I will start drop by drop at night until I figure out how it's going. I'm retired and having too much time on my hands is my demon....but only I can control how I spend my days. It's going to take a major lifestyle change to get me back into life again but I can do it. I'll keep you posted on the CBD oil usage. It's not a sure fix by any means. At all. But I truly want to be pharmaceutical free and am considering consulting with a holistic care provider. Life isn't easy for anyone and it's almost a living hell when you face tragedy after tragedy ..... don't be afraid to ask for help. That has been my biggest "stumbling block". Because those who don't face anxiety and depression don't have a clue. Communication is key to anything to be successful. I gave my family lots of material to READ about my situation because everyone kept telling me to "just get over it." That would be a magical moment for me but I know that some losses in life we just don't ever get over (child loss). As the saying goes, 'Birds of a feather flock together'. Find a great support group, make phone calls and ASK for visits when you are struggling. My friends have seen me at my worst....not showered for a week, in my pj's, house a wreck because I can't function, but that didn't matter to me like it once did. There was a time when I wouldn't have let ANYONE see me in the condition I have been in but I had to recognize that what I have is an illness....not a choice. So, if you have the flu, cancer, diabetes, or whatever, folks are going to accept your appearance and your situation as part of that illness. It's the same with mental issues....And for those who can't or won't accept you for what you are, you don't need them. I have met strangers who have uplifted me more than my own flesh and blood. But it's because I reached out and was truly rewarded by angels who "get me". In today's world, I feel like everyone is struggling with something....but many wear a good mask to cover it up....but you can only hide behind that mask for so long until all hell breaks loose....stay the course, have faith, seek help even when you don't want to, educate yourself on what you're putting in your body; good and bad. Get some exercise even if it's only walking up and down the stairs once or twice a day.....I have had days when that was my biggest accomplishment....doing a load of laundry or two and going up and down my 10 steps to and from the basement. My fatigue is debilitating....but it's not a place that I want to stay....I want to live my life....I want to be the best mom to my daughter that I can be. I want to be the best daughter, sibling and friend that I can be. I want to live the life my son didn't get to live...I just need a little help along the way....hugs to everyone who struggles ....

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