1. < Depression & Anxiety

How can I help my 32-year-old son get "unstuck"?

Posted by helpforson @helpforson, Jan 20 1:37pm

For over ten years, we’ve watched our son, Hank, battle major depressive disorder and anxiety. Despite his intelligence and a hard-earned engineering degree in Material Science, he’s struggled to launch his career. After participating in a program for young adults facing similar challenges, he bravely pursued and earned a second engineering degree. But graduating in 2020, just as the pandemic hit, sent him into a deep downward spiral. He returned to the program for support and eventually secured a short-term contract job, only to face another setback with a layoff two years ago. Last year brought renewed hope with new mental health professionals and promising interviews, but ultimately, no job offers. Adding to our concern, his therapist then discharged him. Now, Hank lives independently, reliant on our financial support. He recently shared that he has stopped taking his medication and refuses further therapy or psychiatric help, believing he’ll never find an engineering job. He feels completely stuck, and as his parents, we feel helpless. Hank is incredibly bright and may be on the autism spectrum, displaying cognitive rigidity and other related characteristics. We’ve tried everything—ultimatums, bribes—but nothing has worked. We desperately need guidance.

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rose1966 | @rose1966 | Jan 20 4:28pm

@helpforson I can tell you of my experience in getting well. I also have major depressive disorder, panic attacks and anxiety. I was really suffering terribly before I finally found a Psychiatrist to help me. (I had to force myself to get the right mindset and press forward. It’s so hard at first)
He put me on Xanax, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. I would see him every week at first. I now take a total of 2mg of Xanax…broken up …1/2 morning, 1/2 lunch, 1/2 dinner and 1/2 at 9pm. I also take 200mg of Zoloft and 150 mg of Wellbutrin. It took a month to start really working. He gradually increased the Zoloft (for serotonin) and Wellbutrin (for dopamine). The medication has lifted me up and made me want to live again. I listened to everything the Psychiatrist told me to do. Exercise everyday, I read the Bible for strength and hope, get outside and enjoy nature. The meds are so important. Without a balanced regime….I would never be able to work. .He must be very intelligent to have 2 engineering degrees. . It’s not easy getting a job today. Most live with their parents. If he could take a job that he enjoys…that would make him feel independent. Even if the wages are not enough to move out…he can still buy his own food, clothing…pay for healthcare etc. He needs to never give up. I had to develop courage to keep going to find a job. He may also need a Psychologist to talk things out with. I also hope he didn’t stop cold turkey…he will get withdrawal symptoms.
What the Psychiatrist will do is try out a medication and see what works and what doesn’t. Everyone is different. Your son will be able to fight feeling “stuck”. I am keeping your son in my thoughts and prayers. I hope my experience helped a bit.

REPLY
2 replies
kb2014 | @kb2014 | Jan 20 11:29pm

I am not sure you can help at all. His healing and recovery are his responsibility. He needs to be willing to ask for and accept help.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Laurie, Volunteer Mentor | @roch | Jan 21 5:47am
In reply to @rose1966 "@helpforson I can tell you of my experience in getting well. I also have major depressive..." + (show)
@rose1966

@helpforson I can tell you of my experience in getting well. I also have major depressive disorder, panic attacks and anxiety. I was really suffering terribly before I finally found a Psychiatrist to help me. (I had to force myself to get the right mindset and press forward. It’s so hard at first)
He put me on Xanax, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. I would see him every week at first. I now take a total of 2mg of Xanax…broken up …1/2 morning, 1/2 lunch, 1/2 dinner and 1/2 at 9pm. I also take 200mg of Zoloft and 150 mg of Wellbutrin. It took a month to start really working. He gradually increased the Zoloft (for serotonin) and Wellbutrin (for dopamine). The medication has lifted me up and made me want to live again. I listened to everything the Psychiatrist told me to do. Exercise everyday, I read the Bible for strength and hope, get outside and enjoy nature. The meds are so important. Without a balanced regime….I would never be able to work. .He must be very intelligent to have 2 engineering degrees. . It’s not easy getting a job today. Most live with their parents. If he could take a job that he enjoys…that would make him feel independent. Even if the wages are not enough to move out…he can still buy his own food, clothing…pay for healthcare etc. He needs to never give up. I had to develop courage to keep going to find a job. He may also need a Psychologist to talk things out with. I also hope he didn’t stop cold turkey…he will get withdrawal symptoms.
What the Psychiatrist will do is try out a medication and see what works and what doesn’t. Everyone is different. Your son will be able to fight feeling “stuck”. I am keeping your son in my thoughts and prayers. I hope my experience helped a bit.

Jump to this post

@rose1966
Welcome to Connect and thank you for sharing your story.
It great example of how anti-depression are not an instant cure, but by giving them a chance to work and following a provider advice, there is hope.

REPLY
helpforson | @helpforson | Jan 21 11:13am
In reply to @rose1966 "@helpforson I can tell you of my experience in getting well. I also have major depressive..." + (show)
@rose1966

@helpforson I can tell you of my experience in getting well. I also have major depressive disorder, panic attacks and anxiety. I was really suffering terribly before I finally found a Psychiatrist to help me. (I had to force myself to get the right mindset and press forward. It’s so hard at first)
He put me on Xanax, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. I would see him every week at first. I now take a total of 2mg of Xanax…broken up …1/2 morning, 1/2 lunch, 1/2 dinner and 1/2 at 9pm. I also take 200mg of Zoloft and 150 mg of Wellbutrin. It took a month to start really working. He gradually increased the Zoloft (for serotonin) and Wellbutrin (for dopamine). The medication has lifted me up and made me want to live again. I listened to everything the Psychiatrist told me to do. Exercise everyday, I read the Bible for strength and hope, get outside and enjoy nature. The meds are so important. Without a balanced regime….I would never be able to work. .He must be very intelligent to have 2 engineering degrees. . It’s not easy getting a job today. Most live with their parents. If he could take a job that he enjoys…that would make him feel independent. Even if the wages are not enough to move out…he can still buy his own food, clothing…pay for healthcare etc. He needs to never give up. I had to develop courage to keep going to find a job. He may also need a Psychologist to talk things out with. I also hope he didn’t stop cold turkey…he will get withdrawal symptoms.
What the Psychiatrist will do is try out a medication and see what works and what doesn’t. Everyone is different. Your son will be able to fight feeling “stuck”. I am keeping your son in my thoughts and prayers. I hope my experience helped a bit.

Jump to this post

@rose1966. Thanks you so much for sharing your experience with me. My son has tried SO many different meds which is why I think he decided to go off them. I think it is something in his mindset that is preventing him from moving forward. I plan to encourage him to get any job in order to get him out of his apartment. I agree that would make him feel more independent. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Always welcom.

REPLY
1 reply
helpforson | @helpforson | Jan 21 11:14am
In reply to @kb2014 "I am not sure you can help at all. His healing and recovery are his responsibility...." + (show)
@kb2014

I am not sure you can help at all. His healing and recovery are his responsibility. He needs to be willing to ask for and accept help.

Jump to this post

@kb2014. Thanks for your response. I understand his healing and recovery are his responsibility. However, for someone on the spectrum, this may be difficult to manage.

REPLY
rose1966 | @rose1966 | Jan 21 11:23am
In reply to @helpforson "@rose1966. Thanks you so much for sharing your experience with me. My son has tried SO..." + (show)
@helpforson

@rose1966. Thanks you so much for sharing your experience with me. My son has tried SO many different meds which is why I think he decided to go off them. I think it is something in his mindset that is preventing him from moving forward. I plan to encourage him to get any job in order to get him out of his apartment. I agree that would make him feel more independent. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Always welcom.

Jump to this post

@helpforson I’ll keep him in my thoughts and prayers:-))

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