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Wow, I didn't think anyone was reading my post at this point in time, but I am happy that you did. You are vey in tune with your body and feelings and that's a good thing. My issues are very different from yours. I do have depression issues (runs in my family) and lately they are pretty bad. Re my having trouble taking showers it seems so huge to me and I was always taking baths before all this began to happen. In 2015 my sister had a rare form of cancer, my cat Sabrina had kidney disease. I was working but I couldn't concentrate enough to keep working with Judy so sick so I quit my job (bringing home $12,000 less a year), Sabrina died, and my sister passed away. Three huge issues to deal with. Some people say that it's from getting older and this happens a lot. In my case, I don't believe that. Even brushing my teeth is an effort. My depression lately is the worst it has been in a very long time. A lot of it is financial (I live in a rent-controlled apartment which is a life saver for me) and I am on a very fixed income. Money issues have always done a job on me because I never missed a payment until things got so difficult. I haven't done housework like I would usually do, washing the dishes is huge, etc., etc. When I put off taking a shower/bath it just gets harder and harder and when I do I feel like, wow, I did it and I feel good. I really appreciate your reply to my post and how you are handling this issue. I keep saying today and then it's no tomorrow. Today really should be THE day and I hope it is. Again, thank you so much for sharing, I truly appreciate it. Take care. : )
Replies to "Wow, I didn't think anyone was reading my post at this point in time, but I..."
You've had a lot of huge losses. Depression is so paralyzing. I can identify with all the things you described. I haven't had the loss like you have. My stressors are currently with relationships and I also struggle with PTSD and ADHD. I take Adderall for the ADHD and you'd think it would help with motivating me to venture into the shower (or do anything really). But it doesn't seem to help that issue. It definitely decreases my anxiety & depression esp in the morning. Please be easy on yourself. You're dealing with a lot. I hope you have a friend who you feel close to. Those kinds of friends are rare. But they can make all the difference sometimes. What my doc says to me is to stay in the moment; don't look back or forward. Just be where you are now. Mindfulness basically. It helps me but it takes a lot of ongoing practice because my brain races. I do hope things improve for you. Keep posting.
I suffer from chronic depression too and put off taking a shower/bath as long as I can. Just once a week seems the best I can do. Seems like a HUGE effort to do such a simple thing. Have you tried sponge baths? Body wipes are able to promote good hygiene which makes it much easier. I hope this helps. God bless you!
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So sorry for your losses - especially the loss of your sister! My condolences to you. A triple whammy certainly is hard to get over, much less a double, especially when depression is hereditary! Your lack of motivation is very understandable.
Are you able to find a social worker who can help you get a therapist in person instead of online consults (although I would imagine even those are better than none), and put you in touch with an agency that provides help with housecleaning and meals? In Canada we have a service called Meals on Wheels, and also organizations that provide prepared meals for a fee which would help. Do you have friends close by with whom you could go out for a coffee? Is there a Church you can attend that has regular Bible Studies, grief support, social activities, etc.?
In the meantime … reaching out through Mayo Connect is a great start …!