Incontinence is a highly variable outcome and you should prepare accordingly. The kegels and core strengthening are very important, but more important is the magnitude of the surgery. If it's a relatively routine RARP, then urinary contenence should recover quickly. If they remove all the nerve bundles, seminal vessels, etc., then incontinence is going to take longer to deal with. During the week with the catheter, you don't need any absorbant products at all. When the catheter comes out you will likely need some for some time, at least. Different men like different products. I actually liked the grey pullup from Depends. I was completely incontinent for months and they protected the most. As things improved I tried a lot of different products but eventually settled on the Tena overnight pads. At 8 months out, I still have leakage and have used the lighter Tena pads, but stress incontinence can cause leakage outside the pad, so I still use the Tena overnight pads. They're not that bulky and one pad last me all day. It really does just become a trial-and-error thing to find out what you need and what's comfortable? Not all products fit well, but my recommendation would be to have some pullups and some pads so you can deal with either situation. The overall recovery from surgery is actually pretty quick, so both of you hang in there. It will all work out OK!