Hi Deb,
I just remembered a similar situation I faced with my father (87 years old) who is quite stubborn. At the beginning of last December, he was not feeling well at all and we returned to the doctor. The doctor recommended hospitalization so that exams could be done quicker. But he said he would only do that at the end of the week because he had some appointments. I became quite so anxious and nervous about this situation. His doctor then spoke to me and said: Chris, do what you can, but take the responsibility for your father's life and actions off your shoulders. She gave me the following example: Let's say your father is diabetic and he helps himself with a large slice of cake. At this point, you can remind him that this is not recommendable and of the consequences of this action, but you cannot take the cake away from him and stop him from eating it since he is still lucid. This is a medical principle: I cannot force lucid patients to follow my recommendations, but I can talk about the diagnosis and the risks of not taking care of themselves. In your mother’s case, it’s different, she’s no longer lucid (she has Alzheimer's).
Those wise words of this doctor have helped me to calm down. I hope they help you too.
Have a good Sunday!
Chris (@santosha)