I’m sorry you are going through this again so soon. Reschedule your trip and look forward to that day. If they didn’t before, please ask them to do biomarker testing on your tumor and see if there are any other therapies you can try. Even if they did it before. I have stage 3 nsclc adenocarcinoma as a nonsmoker. I what thought my heart would be my demise since my mother died hear issues and my dad is on borrowed time from the same. And I do have early signs of it. But I’m hopeful that I’m going to live a long time thanks to my targeted therapy drug. And you did not give yourself cancer. Nobody does. You smoked yes. That’s a risk factor but I know plenty of smokers who don’t have cancer. And I more know plenty of non smokers who do.