You saying that about what your daughter does is up to her made me laugh because I just told a friend of mine almost exactly the same thing.
I told my friend that once I haven’t gotten past (hopefully) the crying and emotional ups and downs it is like a light bulb has went off in my head and said “ his mom isn’t doing this; my daughter is allowing her to do this and my daughter is an adult so it is ultimately my daughters fault if she allows this woman to come between us and there’s not a lot anyone can do about that.

Thanks