@pcetng0202 many people in my in-person support group had difficulties leaving their spouse or loved one. Our group leader warned us that we might be caregiving for many years and needed to also save ourselves. I ended up spending 8 years when I expected less. I was grateful for the advice.

Your local senior center, council on aging, elder services organization may be able to provide advice on how to have someone come to give you a chance to leave. I actually had a job years ago with a 93 year old woman, mainly to take her out to lunch. Some organizations provide volunteers (the "Village" movement here in MA). I continued tai chi and art class and I believe it saved my life. And an in-person support group with a leader who advised me for all those years.

Our local council on aging provides dementia training and a "dementia friends" program locally. Hospice volunteer programs also hold courses on how best to handle dementia. We also have "Memory cafe's where both caregiver and cared for person attend. I participated in that.

There are a lot of resources, including books! Art and music are also really helpful to the person with dementia. You could take classes together! Getting out of the house is a hard priority to have as a caregiver, but I was told often the stress and isolation mean the caregiver dies first.

My mother qualified for hospice based on dementia alone, which provided free aides 5 days a week , a volunteer to spell me, a social worker, nurse and chaplain. We used hospice for 3 years. You are not there yet, not at all, but I mention that as a resource that is underused due to the connotation of the word "hospice."

Hi, @pcetng0202 I was my wife's primary caregiver for her 14+ year war with brain cancer, which gave her many dementia-like symptoms, as well as significant physical complications.

I especially took note of your comment regarding the difficulty of being absent. The overwhelming anxiety my wife would experience when I was absent, no matter for how long or who was there in my stead, made it hugely debilitating to her, and thus even harder on me. Plus, we live in a smaller city where the supports some speak of were not available. This was why I discovered Connect and quickly advocated for them to add Caregiving to their groups. I loved the ability to login at any time and find some support.

I wish you continued Strength, Courage, & Peace

I think the hardest thing is feeling trapped. I can still leave my husband at home alone and he still goes out alone to his favorite coffee shop and the library, but when I leave the house, he waits anxiously for my return and I feel anxious too, the way you do when you leave a baby or toddler at home. You know they're okay but you also know they miss you and want you to come home. This isn't so terrible really, but day after day the isolation builds and I sink further into a depression I work to hide. I'm on antidepressants and have a best friend with whom I can share my woes, but it's hard. It just is. Love has nothing to do with it. Of course, I love my husband but he isn't the same person he used to be and I miss him. It's hard to feel alone with someone you've been married to for 25 years.

Hi: our medical facility offers a monthly dementia support group, and I bring my husband along. He likes to attend because they feed us lunch, however he does not interact. Hopefully you can bring your spouse along so you can get the benefit and she won't be alone.
I learned the word anosognosia on this site, meaning no self awareness. My husband is anosognostic, he doesn't realize he has any issues, which makes certain things harder since he's in disbelief or denial. Taking away his driving privileges due to safety concerns, and taking away his credit and debit cards due to misuse, caused major arguments. It was painful for me to have to do those things, and so confusing for my husband.
I'm not sure there is an easy way to make transitions.
Hope things go fairly well for you as you navigate the changes. Hugs, Judi