Wow i hear your pain and loneliness. I do not deal with MS but i hear your pain and will pray that you are able to find some peace if not joy during this very hard time in your lives.
For me, i was very low for years. I could not think straight about anything. Then one day i said to myself, “I must change something or I will die before my loved one does”!
Very slowly i did something new each day. It could be moving more, not watching tv so much, starting a hobby, educating myself on something new, calling someone to ask about their life, and trying to see my actions differently. I just knew I had to get off the merry-go-round i was on. I hated it!
Perhaps something in my ramblings will give you hope for tomorrow. Pat yourself on the back for being a steadfast husband.
One day at a time!