Heather, Good Morning
I understand you very well. I have epilepsy since I have been a teenager, but I only got the diagnosis of the disease in 2019 at 48 years of age. As my seizures were mostly partial simple and complex ones (no convulsions), it took quite a long time to get the correct diagnosis of my "absences". All my EEGs performed until that time were normal. As I have learned a normal EEG result does not guarantee someone to be free from epilepsy. My first abnormal EEG came out when my doctor at that time gave me the correct orientations for doing it, such as sleeping as little as possible the night before the exam. One does not need to have a seizure during this exam to get the correct diagnosis of epilepsy. Having epileptiform waves during this exam caused by triggers (i.e. little sleep) is enough.
But I tell you that the best diagnosis of epilepsy is done based on evidence, symptoms the patient has. And for this, I recommend seeing an epileptologist. The first epileptologist I saw gave me the correct diagnosis of my type of epilepsy just based on pieces of evidence I and my husband gave to the doctor during those "absences" moments I had.
Wishing you all the best!
Chris (@santosha)