This post really hit home for me. It takes enormous will to bite your tongue when you see life as you knew it slowly crumble around you, and common sense in spouse has vanished. All the frustration you experience just has to be let out, like a volcano. Normally you would feel better letting it out, but not anymore. Now when I let it out it feels like I’ve opened the gates of hell. With all the will I can possibly muster, I take a moment to respond, if at all, and redirect in a calm voice.
After trying this for the last few weeks, the waters are calmer but I feel like I am completely losing myself. There are no longer meaningful and intimate conversations. There is no humor, just flatline existence, day after day. It’s the only way to keep the peace.