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Caregiving: Anyone else doing this alone?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 23 hours ago | Replies (71)

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@celia16

I’m not familiar with it. I have contacted my local senior center and checked with SHIIP for all services that might be available. Since we have a home health aid coming in we discovered how resistant to care my dad is. He refuses to allow the aid to assist him with personal hygiene, shaving, etc. He complains the whole time he is here. So, I’m not sure how we’d utilize any additional help inside the home. Maybe, he’d do better in a facility. We have explained that without outside help coming in, he will not be able to stay. He’ll have to go to a nursing home, but either he can’t process it or he doesn’t believe us. It’s true though.

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Replies to "I’m not familiar with it. I have contacted my local senior center and checked with SHIIP..."

It's terribly difficult for the family when the family member won't cooperate with a plan of care. I know several such cases. One husband blames his wife for "abandoning" him and putting him in a facility. His behavior was so outrageous she simply couldn't cope. He's been kicked out of three facilities because of his behavior and now, I believe, he's back at home. It's a nightmare. At some point, you have to go forward with the plan that works best for you. Don't let yourself go down with the ship. Find some support, even if it's only (only?) a friend you can talk to.

I totally understand what you are going through. I am going through a similar situation with my mom. She too has a caregiver 3 hours per week through a local senior agency and like your dad, complains the whole time and won't let the aide help. It's v ferry frustrating. I don't have any other help either. I'm doing it all by myself as I moved in with my mom to care for her. It's rough. I know my mom would decline quickly if she weren't home so I'm trying to keep her home as long as possible.